Archive for June, 2012
Sooooo, it is virtually crazy that I am even posting right now since electronics have elected to rally against me. I’m talkin Facebook page goin down, blog software formatting issues, multiple “blue screen of death” sightings and overall laptoppity drama.
I mean, my laptop is running slower than a herd of turtles running through peanut butter. And, I didn’t sit here thinking about a creative way to say “my computer is slow” with the whole turtles/peanut butter statement. It is LITERALLY slower than a herd of cute lil’ tortys running as fast as they can through delicious peanut butter (mmmmm peanut butter). True story.
In addition to dealing with tech issues, I recently found a dead bumble-bee on the cushion of my couch. Um, who finds a dead bumble bee on their couch? Anyway, it got me thinkin’.
Freaking bumble bees - they are so damn cute with their fuzzy black and yellow stripes just begging to be petted. Too bad they sting your face off if you try to give em’ any lovin. And that, of course, makes you wanna murder them. But guess what? You can’t. Why? Because the little jerks just made you an entire bucket of deliciously sweet honey.
And, that my friends is precisely what has inspired today’s 5-list Happy Summer!:
SOMETHIN’ TO WET YOUR WHISTLE: Firstly, Moxie & Oliver is dope. This online shop has TONS of super cool stuff that I want to buy in mass quantity. Check their stuff out here, like yesterday. And, while you’re at it, take a sneaky-peak at this so-cute stainless Hive Flask for $55 bucks (find it: here). Time to get wasted!
On honey, obviously.
SPEAKING OF HONEY: Um…I didn’t know this but apparently, there are some pretty busy urban bees in Chicago makin’ a whole lotta honey! The beeline brand of products are not only good for your belly (and your skin), but are also a “Sweet Investment“ as each purchase helps out peeps that are struggling to find a J-O-B. Awesome.Check out this beeline 12 oz Chicagoland raw urban honey for $14 bucks (find it: here). Mmmmm….sticky.
I’m sorry. Do you see how stinkin’ cute these bar towels are? I’m in love with this set of Honey bee MultiPurpose Flour Sack Bar Towels for $13 bucks (find em: here) and do believe I would stick my entire head in a beehive just to call them mine
Thanks to ZenThreads on Etsy for hand painting these guys.
I heart you.
SOMETHIN’ SWEET TO SIP ON: Honeydrop is a low-cal, healthy line of teas and juices, each bottle holding a spoonful of honey sourced from bees nationwide. Buy a Bottle, Save a Bee – a percentage of the proceeds from every bottle go to carefully selected beekeepers who build new hives and educate their communities! Find em’ here. Personally, I think the Lemon Ginger flavor sounds divine. And also, P.S. I totally wanna get my hands on one of those beekeeper hats too.
SOMETHIN’ TO MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE SUMMA TIME:
This I Smell Good in HONEY Perfume Oil by I Smell Good on Etsy (find it: here) is one of many scents I wanna try on for size. “Warm dark honey drips from thick honeycombs”….does that sound kinda naughty or am I just all fired up still from last Wednesday’s post? Either way, I wanna try it out…
Naked (or fully clothed).
Whoa. Awesomest thing ever. Head on over to Mission: Small Business and show Barker Chocolate Box some love by voting. If they get 250 votes, they have the opportunity to receive $250,000 buckarooni’s for their new “chocolate factory”! This is almost as exciting as when Charlie found the “Golden Ticket“. I can’t stand it.
Hurry, Hurry! All votes have to be in by 11:59 pm on Friday, June 29th.
And, be sure to check back in a couple of weeks for a super-dee-duper Barker Chocolate Box Giveaway.
Bummer! I’m havin’ some technical difficulties with the formatting on my blog & I’m not gonna be able to post until it’s fixed. It’s a miracle I’m even able to write this post! BOO. Hiiiisssssssssssssssssssss.
In the meantime, feel free to catch up on some old posts & get comfy. Hopefully, I’ll be up & runnin in a couple of days!
Sooo, I just got back from a super-dope visit home to Ro-cha-cha. And, somewhere between dancin’ my pants off at a wedding and visitin’ with the fam, I managed to finish the 2nd book in the Hunger Games series. I SO wish my name was Catnip Evergreen.
Anyway, I would be reading the 3rd book in the series, but since I’m patiently waiting for turtle mc-turtleson to finish it up, I’m movin’ on to bigger and totally sluttier things: Well, hello Fifty Shades of Grey.
I won’t lie. I honestly wasn’t gonna read the series for the pure fact that everyone and their mother is raving about it, but the peer pressure is killing me and I’m a total push-over, so I guess it’s time to get my super-smutty-sex-on.
Oh, yeah. There is a point to this – and here it is - a simple mathematic formula, if you will: Sexy book of 2012 + my lust for finding cool stuff = an awesomely sex-a-licious product I need to blab about. Friends and fellow nymphomaniacs, I present to you some pretty sex-tastical candles:
A Scent of SCANDAL (based in L.A…you know, Cali.) was created by a New Jersey East Coast team (Ari & Heather), who also happen to be ”bro and sis”. This is both awesome and sorta strange considering the theme of the product, but mostly awesome since I can totally see me and one of my bros coming up with these hilariously funny & scandalous candle names.
All of their candles are, vegan/cruelty free made from soy wax (hand poured into their 8 oz. tins, P.S.). They burn for 30-35 hours, which means you can either do the horizontal boogie to the soft glow of candle-light for around 1.5 days straight or you can read a naughty book to the soft glow of candle-light for one whole month (in 1-hour increments if you’re a slow reader, like Turtle Mc-Turtleson).
Here are a couple of my faves:
Somethin’ Earthy: MORNING WOOD for $15 bucks (find it: here)
“An arousing combination of sandalwood and amber.”
Somethin’ Flowery: WALK OF SHAME for $15 bucks (find it: here)
I’m gonna go ahead and say, yes…yes, yes, and YES! Time to buy 5,000 new candles!
Really…if I could order 800 pounds of the gourmet granola sold by this super-cutie online shop, I would. Oh yes… I would. Then, I would lay around in my PJ’s for like, 10 days or so and live life in a granola-eating frenzy. I probably wouldn’t even shower. Just, eat. And, eat. And maybe hug or even make small talk with the adorable lil’ jars these fancy granolas come in. It would be both disgusting, strange, and fantastic at the same time…and that, my friends, sounds like perfection.
Homies and fellow granolies, introducing “the last granola you’ll ever buy” :
If yer lookin’ to get your hands on some healthy (and organic) granola, check out The Healthy Nut Gourmet Granola. There goods are gourmet, vegan, organic, automatic, systematic, hydromatic, ultramatic..you know..greased lightning baby. Well, maybe that last part was made up. But, the rest is true – gourmet, vegan, organic. Made with unsaturated fats and unrefined sugars. And, their packaging is fab. Here’s a sneaky peak of what they are offerin’:
Includes: Oats, Almonds, Dried Cranberriers, Turbinado, Coconut, Orange Juice, Olive Oil, Pure Agave Nectar, Pure Orange Oil
I don’t even know what a “Turbinado” is, but sign me up for 4,000 jars, please.
Includes: Oats, Pecans, Walnuts, Coconut, Bananas, Apple Juice, Olive Oil, Pure Cane Brown Sugar, Maple Syrup, Vanilla, Banana Chips, Spices.
You may not know this about me, but I just sold my unborn child for 13 bags of this banana sweetness. True story…well, maybe not. But, it could be.
Can’t decide which one ya wanna try? How about this delish and totally adorbs Gourmet Granola Gift Jar Set for $35 bucks (includes 4, 1 quart jars; one each of the following flava-flaves: Oatmeal Cookie, Banana Nut Bread, Cranberry Orange & Gingersnap Cookie). Find it: here and here.
My world is complete now. Happy Wednesday (that is the DUMBEST word to spell, P.S.)