SUMMA TIME & THE CANDLES ARE SL[EASY]

[ 1 ] June 20, 2012 | Jenny

Happy first day of summer! I mean, it’s been raining for 6 years straight so this 9 million degree heat wave is pretty awesome if you asked me.

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Sooo, I just got back from a super-dope visit home to Ro-cha-cha. And, somewhere between dancin’ my pants off at a wedding and visitin’ with the fam, I managed to finish the 2nd book in the Hunger Games series. I SO wish my name was Catnip Evergreen.

Anyway, I would be reading the 3rd book in the series, but since I’m patiently waiting for turtle mc-turtleson to finish it up, I’m movin’ on to bigger and totally sluttier things: Well, hello Fifty Shades of Grey.

I won’t lie. I honestly wasn’t gonna read the series for the pure fact that everyone and their mother is raving about it, but the peer pressure is killing me and I’m a total push-over, so I guess it’s time to get my super-smutty-sex-on.

Oh, yeah. There is a point to this – and here it is - a simple mathematic formula, if you will: Sexy book of 2012 + my lust for finding cool stuff = an awesomely sex-a-licious product I need to blab about. Friends and fellow nymphomaniacs, I present to you some pretty sex-tastical candles:

A Scent of SCANDAL (based in L.A…you know, Cali.) was created by a New Jersey East Coast team (Ari & Heather), who also happen to be ”bro and sis”. This is both awesome and sorta strange considering the theme of the product, but mostly awesome since I can totally see me and one of my bros coming up with these hilariously funny & scandalous candle names.

All of their candles are, vegan/cruelty free made from soy wax (hand poured into their 8 oz. tins, P.S.). They burn for 30-35 hours, which means you can either do the horizontal boogie to the soft glow of candle-light for around 1.5 days straight or you can read a naughty book to the soft glow of candle-light for one whole month (in 1-hour increments if you’re a slow reader, like Turtle Mc-Turtleson).

Here are a couple of my faves:

Somethin’ Earthy: MORNING WOOD for $15 bucks (find it: here)

“An arousing combination of sandalwood and amber.”

Somethin’ Flowery: WALK OF SHAME for $15 bucks (find it: here)

“Nectarine and water lily, followed by hyacinth and passion flower.”

Somethin’ Fruity: D-CUPS for $15 bucks (find it: here)

“A fresh combination of ripe cantaloupe and honeydew.”

Somethin’ Sweet: MILF (Milk & Cookies) for $15 bucks (find it: here)

“The creamiest vanilla… ever!”