Holy donut madness. Um, first of all..Happy National Donut Day! Who knew? I mean, I had NO CLUE that the first Friday of every June for the rest of my life is going to be National Donut Day. Which of course means, that the first friday in every June for the rest of my life will now include a ravenous feast of donuts, by yours truly. I feel like I have a second birthday now. Mark your calendars!
Well, in honor of this most joyful of occasions, I thought it only fitting to share five (5) uniquely doughpe (get it “dope”, but with “dough”…whatever)…Anyway, I’m going to share five (5) kick-butt-cheek donut shops that I vow to stalk relentlessly for years to come. Funny, how I was just telling someone that I feel so physically and mentally strong after 2 straight weeks of workin’ out like it’s my J-O-B. And, now I’m prepared to throw it all away for my second birthday. Well, maybe not totally throw it away. But this chick is feastin’ on at least one or donuts today in celebration, fo-sho! P.S. I’ll be using the word donut and doughnut interchangeably throughout. Why? Cuz’, I’m cool like that, I guess (or, I just can’t spell). Happy day!
NUMBER ONE (1): VOODOO DOUGHNUT
This Portland, OR based unique doughnut biz is pretty freaking awesome. The dude to the left is the shop’s mascot – a Voodoo Doll shaped doughnut filled with raspberry jelly, topped with chocolate frosting and stabbed with a pretzel stake! I SO wish they delivered nationally b/c I would totally voodoo the hell out of my diet, just prior to eating him. Other flavors include: Captain My Captain (topped with Captain Crunch!), Butterfingering (topped with Butter Finger Crumbles) and…ahem, Cock and Balls (triple filled with Bavarian Cream). NAUGHTY!
NUMBER TWO (2): DOUGH A DEER
I’m sorry but these doughbabies won’t stop staring at me and it’s making me uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I’m about to call these peeps up for a custom order of 42 thousand chocolate-bacon doughmamas! (what can I say? I’m a fatty!). Seriously though, this shop is 2-legit-to-quit. They have everything from donuts (all sizes), to these adorable donutpops and even doughtruffles. They take custom orders, regular orders for gifts, and offer bigger purchases for events (baby showers, wedding showers, I’m totally giving up on my diet showers). I’m in love.
NUMBER THREE (3): PSYCHO DONUTS
This “BiPolor” donut is one of many enjoyably insane sweet treats available at Psycho Donuts: “the world’s first and only asylum for wayward donuts”, who has “donutized” everything from hamburgers, French fries, pizzas, tacos, and even ice cream sandwiches.” So basically, I can still be a total bitch-faced-psycho-nut and eat donuts that don’t look down on me? Perfect-o! I’m pretty sure they only deliver in Campbell or San Jose, CA and this makes me sad b/c I want to try these wack-jobs! At least my Cali weirds can give em’ a try! I’d vote for the Psycho Passionata, the Kooky Monster, or the Michael Jackson.
NUMBER FOUR (4): HIPPIECAKES (ON ETSY)
I can’t. I can’t stand how luscious these vegan Mini Sparkle Doughnuts look. I can’t even figure out what flavor they are, but I don’t care. They could be for dogs or cats, or vegan or shmegan, and I would likely still eat them, for the pure fact they look like they need to be eaten’. The bonus? Hippie Cakes makes even more than donuts. Basically any allergy, gluten, soy, and dairy free dessert you wish (subject to them actually being able to make it, duh). Sweet Jesus.
NUMBER FIVE (5): MOJO MONKEY DONUTS
Again with the donuts and bacon. I mean, come on people! Are you trying to kill me? I can’t take it! This Maple Bar with Thick Cut Bacon from Mojo Monkey looks absatootly delectable. The only bad thing about it is that it’s in Minnesoooooota. So, therefore it probably has the best accent ever, but will never grace my lips (unless they make an exception and start delivering daily to my home). Check em’ out here!
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