Tag: diet food delivery

IT’S TIME FOR A LIST OF STUFF THAT’LL MAKE YA SKINNY!

[ 1 ] March 9, 2012 |

K – so, Tony Horton is whacked.  No seriously…this guy is CRAZY!  If you don’t know who he is, just turn on any TV station at around 3am and you’ll see what I’m talkin’ about (Or, just click here).  Today I want to talk about how badly I want to kick Tony in the shins for the insane amount of pain my body is in, after just three (yeah, JUST three) days of P90X.

I’m already pissed off because I completely changed my diet to compliment my new workout routine.  Plus, there’s the “no Sweets for 4 weeks” challenge thing I stupidly pledged to adhere to.

Let’s see…I could just barely get through the warm-up on day one, so that was awesome. Day 2, was Plyometrics, which to me is the equivalent of pointing 13 guns to my head and pulling all of the triggers at once. Today was the Shoulders & Arms portion of the workout, which I actually (gasp) enjoyed!  I was feelin’ good, kickin butt, feelin’ the burn….and, this was precisely when I realized that Tony and his workout cronies are all a bunch of showoffs.  I mean, we are told that if we want to have lean muscles then we do between 12-15 reps.  Then, miss fancy pants jumps in and is like, “I’m going to do 42 reps, while dangling from the ceiling by my feet”.  I’m sorry, what?

The bright side is that all of the shenanigans (good, nasty & fugly) are FUEL and that’s why Beachbody is a bajillion dollar company. The more crazy they get, the more I want to totally kick-ass working out.  I can’t believe I have 87 more days of this!

This brings me to today’s list of fabulous awesomes!  I’ve been following the nutritional diet provided by P90X and mixing in some of my own things that I know to be health, fat-burners…blah, blah,blah.  But, what I really wish, is that the money-shaker (you know, the guy that shakes trees until all the money falls off), would shake the hell out of humungo tree so that I could afford one of these insanely tasty looking gourmet diet’s delivered to my door.  Did I mention my birthday is like, 5 seconds away?  I’m not an expert or anything, but this would probably be a fine gift (hint, hint, hint).

NUMBER 1:

I’m thinkin’ that if I was lucky enough to eat the yummy food provided by these guys, I would pretty much look like that guy from hangman when I’m done.  Yes, please and thank you!  Diettogo offers gorgeous looking meals  for as little as $136 bucks per 7-day week! Minus the ships & handlin’ of course. You can choose from low-fat, vegetarian (this is where I saw the “gorgeous” meals, P.S.) and low-carb meal plans, which include brake-fast, lunch and din-din. It’s super customizable, so you can select your daily calorie count, and even tell them your allergies and list the foods you hate (that’s mustard, ew. vom).  The food is delivered to your door or you can pick it up locally in select areas.  These guys were rated numero uno by Epicurious, obviously that means that it’s the perfect gift to give a girl, on…I don’t know….maybe a Birthday or somethin’?

NUMBER 2:

I almost licked my monitor for this one.  Yummy looking dishes cooked by gourmet chefs and delivered to your door.  All you do is amputate your left arm to raise the money to order one of their 7 day, 14 day or 21 day plans (ranging from $350 bucks to $840).  Or, if you’re a true rockstar (or a recent lottery winner), go for the 31 day transformation package for a little over a grand.  Everything you need to know about the goods from The fresh diet are right here.

NUMBER 3:

You didn’t think I was going to leave organic out did-ja?  Healthy Chef Creations has a simple mission: “to prepare great-tasting, all-natural, wholesome, organic cuisine and deliver the meals fresh to your door.”  Ok.  Don’t mind if I do!

You can select from thier 5-7 day Organic Weight Loss, Delicious Gourmet Meals, or “Momalicious” for expecting mommas!  Your looking at around $4 hundos+ a week to get one of these plans. Small fortune to pay for good eats.  No seriously, it’s a small fortune for an A-list celeb like me, but if your rollin’ in the dough, you should totally do it.

NUMBER 4:

Hey Vegans!?  They even got one for you guys!  Choose from customizable meal plans, labeled bronze, silver, gold & platinum (and don’t forget weight loss!).  Gobble Green packages can include all meals (plus deserts), and theyeven have plans for couples, some of which cost around $1,300 bucks per month.  For only  $325 extra bucks a week for you and your hunny (or your homie) this is a steal compared to some other programs. Out there.  Plus the turkey logo is really cute.

NUMBER 5:

Hmmm.  According to the eDiets website, “The food is fantastic! Not like those other guys.“  Well, although I have not had the pleasure of an official taste test, the food pics look appetizing. They are also offering an “Eat FREE for 3 Weeks” promotion which means, you get 21 breakfasts, 21 lunches, 21 dinners AND 21 snacks FREE.  That’s pretty cool.  Of course, you’ve got to order one of their 7-day meal delivery plans for $165 bucks, but that actually seems pretty tight considering that you get 3 weeks free.  I haven’t quite found the hook yet and am not sure there is one.  For $165 for 4 weeks (if true), I might just have to dig in the ol’ piglet bank and give it a go!  If you do the same, I encourage a good read on the fine print – looks like there may be an auto-renewal built-in to your order, so you’ve gotta be on top if it, if you want to cancel. Update:  Actually – to get the 3 weeks free you must have 3 paid orders, to get your first free week.  After 6 paid orders, you get your second free week, and you get your 3rd free week, after 9 paid orders.  It’s all available at the website if you’re lookin’ to give it a try.  Sadly, I’m not that rich.  Poop.

Ok, well…I guess I’m gonna go sell my soul to the devil so that I can order one of these thingys.  Happy Friday!

(disclaimers)

 (photo of Tony via Healthy New Age)

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