Happy first day back to work after having 4 glorious days off!
I’m sorry. That’s insensitive. If it makes you feel any better, I have two new friends taking residence on my ass after all of the vacation desserting – I call them pound 1 and pound 2. They’re stupid and so is the end of vacation. The only thing NOT stupid about this ploopy day are these awesome dishes. I mean…it doesn’t get much better than cute lil’ animals shouting naughty words from your dessert plate.
I’ll be honest. It’s unclear to me what inspired this fancy china (designed by My Only Regret (besides dying)) – All I know is that it reminds me of my youth – you know, when you’re about 7 years old and think you are the awesomest for saying the word “poop” in the library above whisper level. And, that my friends…makes me happy. Here’s a couple of my faves. Feel free to stalk your heart out and offend your house guests!
Savanna Style Dirty Dishes (set of 4 mugs) – These lil’ African creatures are just cussing away about lady & man parts (click on the gallery below to see the R rated version). Find em’: here (for $43 bucks).
Dirty Dishes G rated Beer Steins (set of 4) – See what I’m saying? I don’t think there will ever be a time in my life when the word “wiener” doesn’t make me break into hysterical fits of laughter. Find em’: here (for $54 bucks).
Dinosaur Dirty Dishes Coaster Set of 4: These dinosaurs are super in trouble for saying these words. That said, these could be pretty cool floating around the bar in your dudes man cave. Find em’: here (for $23 bucks)
Ok, I feel dirty now. Must shower.
Oh, the days. The days when I danced around the house in my hammer pants and bum equipment sweatshirt swoonin’ over Donnie Wahlburg. My moves were undeniable. My bangs? At least 10 inches high. It was the year I broke up with my boyfriend because he had a funny haircut. Besides, it was only a matter of time before Donnie came to my junior high school and professed his love. Step by Step, oooohhhh baby. Really wantcha in my wor-er-er-er-ald. Yes, Donnie. I accept.
Cue screeching record and calendar rapidly flipping (ahem) twenty-three years (P.S. I just barfed), and the boys are back! In celebration of their return, I’d like all of my birthday cards to come from these peeps:
BOY BAND SENTIMENTS “Hang Tough”. Still to this day I have no clue what “Hangin Tough” means. But, I’m totally going to start saying it as a throwback to my youth (find it: here for $3.50).
….My fave? BOY BAND SENTIMENTS ”The Right Stuff (4pk)”. I’ve totally got the right stuff! Don’t be jelly of my status. Furthermore, since my birthday is a multi-day affair, these cards would probably be the most suitable pick to honor and celebrate my existance (Find em’: here for $8 bucks).
New Kids not your thang? Boy Band Sentiments has you covered. Check out these other great “boy band” cards and generously stalk this killer Etsy shop:
(NKOTB image via)
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It’s time for Stuff That’s Awesome for Guys!
Tuesday Wens-day guys/dudes/men (and you too fabulous ladies!)
If you know me at all, you know my philosophy on guys - if they aren’t doused in cologne, they smell like a bag of ass. Sorry men. But, let’s be honest. You know you’re funky. And, when you’re married to one like mine, creating smells “special” for me while hysterically laughing becomes part of the daily routine. Plus they touch things, and mine does yucky science, and well, boys just kinda stink.
So, naturally, any soap that is specially created to make a man wash himself is my hero, and ManHands Soap is no exception to that rule. Chickity check it:
Adam Anderson came up with the idear for these dude-friendly smelling washing bars when coming to the realization that all of the soaps in his house had such girly smells. And so he created: Manly scented soap. Uniquely scented soaps that have captured some of the manliest smells this world has to offer into an amazing crafted bar, individually handmade by man.
You’re tellin’ me! This Etsy shop has a TON of different “flavors”; from Cannibus and Cash to Democrat and Republican. These soaps are perfect for any guy, whether he’s a wannabe drug dealer or squeaky clean politician. Ha ha. That cracked me up. I for one would rather have my man smelling like Bacon or Buttered Popcorn in lieu of his normal “I just ate steak and farted” cologne. Bacon…popcorn…manliness…
Wait, what was I saying? Oh yes.. Soaps. Each 3 oz bar will cost you $6.95 (find em: here). Oh, that’s your cue to go shop your face off – You can buy like 10 different flavors. Your wife, girlfriend and/or your under-cover-secret lover will most definitely get naked. The only thing that would make ManHands Soap even better is if they had a “boob” scented bar. That’s a no-brainer.
The husband got to try the Fresh Cut Grass, Bonfire and Baseball Glove scents. His official man opinion is below. I for one think this company is genius. Totally unique and a definite stand out. Well done Adam! You’ll be right up there with Irish Spring in no time.
So first off, to clear the proverbial air, I do not smell like a bag of ass. I do not smell like the bacteria I so masterfully cultivate in my lab. As for the rest, yeah, she’s right, but I have so little time for other hobbies…
Luckily for me, my olfactory bulbs aren’t accosted with all the girlie smelling soaps. Our house has mostly soaps that smell like awesome foods like pumpkin pie and peppermint desserty stuff, which probably says a lot for our greater motivations in life.
You might not realize it, but soap is some of the manliest shit on the planet. ManHands did. It’s because they’re smarter and tougher than you. And your mom likes them more than you. Allow me to drop some science on yo ig’nant fools: in the process of making soap glycerin is produced.
“You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to make nitroglycerin. You can mix nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite. You can blow up bridges. You can mix nitroglycerin with more nitric acid and parafin and make gelatin explosives. You can blow up a building, easy. With enough soap you can blow up the whole world.”- Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
But I tell get you, these soaps are pretty awesome. This is the type of manly-kick-your-teeth-in soaps Tyler Durden would make. And I commend their usage of the packaging as the casts for the bars – soap truly made the way a man thinks, organized and efficient, less clean up. And the chemical geniuses Adam has working for him nailed the scents I sampled exactly. I’m genuinely impressed. The ‘Bonfire’ really had the ‘I just burned the shed down’ aroma of smoldering ruin. And ‘Fresh Cut Grass’ made my arms all itchy just thinking about summer. My favorite by far is ‘Baseball Glove’, which is hilarious because it’s the scent Jenny liked the least. So there you go, it’s now scientifically proven that dudes will relate better to these soaps than chicks. So men, rise up! And reclaim back some space in your bathroom too, the entire 3×2 inch square of glorious manly freedom. Victory!!!!!
Feel free to pretend like Man Hands Soap is your favorite female celebrity and stalk the hell out of them:
And that’s that. Oh, except for the fact that you can win it!
Enter for your chance to win a bar of ManHands Soap. Winner picks their favorite smell and ManHands will send it your way! You can get a bazillion chances via the form below. Good luck!!!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Financial compensation was not received for this post. A sample product was gifted from ManHands Soap. The opinions provided in this post are solely our own. For questions or concerns about this product, please contact the product provider directly.
*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN GIVEAWAY. Starts at 12:01 a.m. ET on 3/6/13 and ends at 11:59 p.m. ET on 3/12/13. Open to legal residents of the 50 US and DC, 18 years or older at time of entry. Void in territories and possessions located outside of the 50 US, and DC where prohibited or restricted by law. This sweepstakes is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by Facebook®, Google™, or Twitter®, or the prize manufacturers. You understand that you are providing your information to the blog five-style-high and not to Facebook®, Google™ or Twitter®, or the prize manufacturer. Unless otherwise stated, the information you provide will be used SOLELY for the purposes of selecting and notifying a prize winner, after which the information will be permanently deleted. Subject to official rules avail. here: http://5stylehigh.com/directory-of-stuff/currentgiveaways/officialrules/.
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I admit, that “growing stuff” has never been my strong suit. Let’s set the scene:
Girl walks into room that has a beautifully flourishing plant.
Plant screams & dies.
Plants in surrounding towns, villages and cities also bite the dust.
I’m a plant murderer.
But, I think my luck might be changing. Something interesting has happened recently and I’m not sure how it’s humanly possible. I, the queen assasinator of greens, has grown something. The fancy flower pictured above is the very first ever plant that I have successfully cultivated and (gasp) watched bloom. Not once, but twice! I’m such an overachiever.
Seriously though – I grew the thing, watered it sparingly, taunted it a little, it bloomed, then died, and somehow resurrected, and it just bloomed again. Four obnoxiously gorgeous red flowers. I’m kinda a big deal these days so naturally, I’ve become obsessed with terrariums.
Cue, Face of the Earth.
Holy Terrarium awesomeness! I’m not even sure how to take care of one of these, but I think I need the Valentine’s day gnome to hook me up with one, like A-SAP.
Here’s what’s on my love-list…
VALENTINE’S TERRARIUM: LITTLE NOM NOM MONSTER: I have no clue who this little monster guy is, but he is freaking cuuuuuuuuuutttttte! And, this terrarium looks like it’s made for a “novice gardener” like myself, so I’m thinkin’ it’s a perfect fit. Find it: here (for $50 bucks)
MOVIE MINIATURES: SCALE MODEL BEATLEJUICE TERRARIUM: Oh my god, I love this movie. I’m pretty sure that if I got this terrarium I’d finally have the opportunity to meet Beatlejuice for reals. You can start calling me Lydia Deetz from here on out. Beatlejuice! Beatlejuice! Beatlej….just kidding. I mean, I know what saying “Beatlejuice” three times means….oh, crap. Find it: here for ($250 bucks)
For my dude…
MOVIE MINIATURES: BAG END HOBBIT TERRARIUM, LORD OF THE RINGS: Funny story about The Hobbit. A couple of months ago the man and I were at the “thee-ay-ter” and saw the previews for The Hobbit movie. I, casually and confidently whispered “I remember this movie!” thinking I would (a) impress him with my typically non-existent knowledge and care for nerd flicks; and (b) prove that I do in fact pay attention to those weird movies when they are on in my house. He, laughed rather hysterically prior to informing me that it was a brand new movie, therefore rendering me a stupid idiot. Whatever, there’s like 4,000 of them. I don’t know how you people keep this shit straight. Find it: here (for $250 bucks)
BIGFOOT OPEN TERRARIUM: HIKER VS. SASQUATCH: Don’t mind me. Just doin’ a lil’ squatchin. I’m pretty sure if we got this, the dudes from “Finding Bigfoot” would show up at our house with the whole team to shoot an episode. I mean our little love-nest in the city is the perfect habitat for a big foot. Find it: here for ($90 bucks)
“It began with a hike in the woods when I was fairly new to this planet, and grew to a study of art, into a business of making others happy while making myself happy too.”
Rachel Bishop is the talented lady behind these super fun terrariums. She’s got quite the arsenal of artistic talent in addition to her fab terrarium work. Visit her website to scope out her Illustrations, Graphic Design, Jewelry & Fiberwork. Feel free to stalk her like your life depended on it. It probably does.
These. Cards. Are freaking cute! I love them. They have personality and whimsy. They have just enough “naughty” and they crack me up! hee-hee-hee. See? They really do crack me up! I’ll purchase 6,000 boxes please. I’ll be paying in puppies. Really, really cute ones.
(find it: here for $4 bucks)
(find it: here for $4 bucks)
(find it: here for $4 bucks)
Thanks to Julie Ann for “quitting her day job” and making these adorable cards. When she’s not kicking butt at card-making, she makes some amazer-ama DIY and posts the tutorials on her blog. She lives in sunny Cally with her boyfriend and adorably scruffy pup Penny. Best part, she makes cards for even more holidays and “just because” too. Find em’: here.
Why aren’t you stalking her yet? YEY!