Tag: Valentine’s Day Gift

I’M NOT ON A BOAT ANYMORE!

[ 0 ] February 14, 2012 |

Valentines DayHappy holidays peeps!  I’m happy to report that I’m no longer on a boat and I’m back to real life, but more on that, and the extra 400 pounds I gained while stuffing my vacation face, later.   Today, as I do on most holidays, I’ve been reflecting back on V-days of yore and have come to realize that I have turned into the girl who I once wanted to punch in the face with a chocolate bar.  I am that lovey gush-face that woke up this morning with little hearts floating around my head.  There, I said it.  I think I might have also done the cha-cha with my cat while smooching her to death.  It’s borderline disgusting and I’m pretty lucky she didn’t claw my face off.  What I realized during the slow dance though is that I don’t really care about the stuff that goes with the day, per sae – you know, the hallmarky love-stuff.. moreover, I’m just happy to not be the girl that wants to sledgehammer the couple in love.  I am the couple in love (well, at least half of it) and it’s awesome and I’m not going to apologize for it!  Wow, I guess vacationing makes me a total bitch.

The moral of this story and my jerk-face-ness is this:   If you are still single on Valentine’s Day, celebrate anyway.  Celebrate Singles Awareness Day (“S.A.D.” if you will) and celebrate it with pride.  Because you know what?  Someday you will find your other half (believe me, you will) and then, you will have to contend with all the joys that come with being a couple.  I’m not talking about the love part (which is a given and should be celebrated EVERY day, P.S.).  No, no.  I’m talkin’ about the annoying shit.  The stuff that makes you want to put a plastic bag over your head, because death by suffocation would be better than breathing the stench coming from his man-ass.  Husband farts are FAR worse than boyfriend farts.  True story.

If you are single and ready to mingle on this delishious holiday, my advise to you as a former single valentine’s day hater is comprised of 2 tasks:

(Task 1) visit the grocery store and stand dead center in the cupid hemorrhage zone.  Then, flip the bird to all the happy people.  Although this is completely unproductive, it’s the only thing that will make you feel better in lieu of eating a pound of candy bars, which will only make you feel worse (TRUST ME).

(Task 2):  Get yourself some candles.  Not the ones that just look pretty.  No, you my friend are going to need the ones that smell like heaven.

Why you ask?  My prediction (I’m practically Miss Cleo, by the way) is that next year at this time, you’ll be just like me.  Happy, and thankful for being in love.  Oh, and also the man smells will be in full force by then and you’ll need something to kill the stench.  Here’s a great place to start:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/WitchCityWicks

I heart the name, Witch City Wicks even more now that I know these candles are made in Salem, Massachusetts.  Super witchy!

All of the candles made at Witch City Wicks are hand poured in small batches.  They are made from all-nat-cher-al soy wax and cotton wicks (they are phthalate-free too!)  Holla!

Can’t wait to try em’ out myself.  No seriously, I can’t wait.  The man smell gets worse the longer you are married (just kiddin’ babe.  Love you SO much!).

Anti-Valentine’s Day: Tainted Love scented soy 6 oz. jar for $9 bucks / Find it: here

 “an incredible mixture of orange & grapefruit, cherry blossom, hydrangea, apple and peach mixed in natural soy wax poured into an 6 ounce simple jar with black plastisol lid.”

 

 

 

Black Bat scented soy candle in 6 oz jar for $9 bucks / Find it: here

“Complex and fruity, sweet raspberry sangria in black wax. Natural soy wax poured into an 6 ounce simple jar with black plastisol lid.”

 

 

 

(disclaimers)

(Valentine Photo via:  Click Here For Funny Pictures & Funny Valentines Day Pictures)

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THE MEERCAT SAW HIS SHADOW!

[ 0 ] February 2, 2012 |

standing on high Yup!  It’s true.  The Meercat woke up super early this morning and saw his shadow and now we are all going on vacation this Saturday!  Whoo-hoo!  Just kidding, you’re probably not going.  But, I am.  I know it’s not polite to be such an a-hole on a national holiday and all, but I just can’t help myself.  I honestly feel its necessary to rub my travelin’ status in the faces of others, seeing as though its been a million years since I actually traveled anywhere for purposes other than pure gluttany.

You, my friend have 6 more weeks of Winter according to Punxsatawney Phil, who I might add, lives in Gobbler’s knob.  Just say it once:  Gobblers Knob.  ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Normally, (as if I’ve ever posted about Groundhog’s day before today)…normally, I would be stomping around with the rest of the world in light of the furry dude’s premonition.  BUT,  I mean, has it even snowed yet this year?  The lack of snow, in fact, is almost scary.  I’m starting to wonder if it’s all because I’m failing pretty monumentally at making 2012 my bitch.  Either way, it got me thinkin’ about my hometown of  Rochester, NY.  Which got me totally off-topic and thinking about how many fantastic artists and creatives live in that city.  Thanks to one of my parental units, I got a text the other night with the name of this awesome shop in the SouthWedge and I just couldn’t go another day without gushing about these guys and thier awesome upcycled goods!

Show Ro-cha-cha some love my friends! Introducing:

www.evenoddcreative.com

I’m LOVING everything about these one of a kind products and thier cheese and indie music lovin’, semi-nerdy, yet trendy mommas – Eliza (even) and Ashley (odd).  If you know me and you read thier “About” section, you’ll see why little blue birds and hearts are flying around my head all cartoon-like.  The cartoon birds could also just  be floating around because it’s almost vacation day (sorry!) , but I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m diggin’ this site.   These chic ladies make “bags and unique fashion accessories from upcycled and recycled materials”. 

They also have over 15 years of branding, web & print design (oh, and also photography), which shows in their portfolio.  Um, could they be any more talented?  If you have some vinyl signs, billboards truck tarps, old seat belts or inner tubes (bike, car or truck) layin’ around, send them an email and they will take it off your hands and create something fantastic with it.  Here are some of my faves.

Kinney 012: Messenger Bag for $75 bucks

I haven’t been jonesin for anything in a while, and now I am thanks to this bag.  Need it.  Now.

Find it:  here

 

 

 

 

Marina 028:  Market Bag for  $30 bucks

I’m sure that the only way I can have fun grocery shopping is if I have this bag.  True story.

Find it: here

 

 

 

 

 

Sydney 017:  Urban Carry Bag for $45 bucks

I’m jonesin’ for this too.  I can’t help myself.

Find it:  here

 

 

 

 

 

You won’t be disapointed if upcycled awesome stuff is your thang. These bags are pretty heavy duty -   As said here, “They won’t tear, are water resistant and they’d pretty much kick Steven Seagal’s ass in a fight to the death”.  And, now the little cartoon birds are back.  Happy Thursday!

P.S.  my spellcheck isn’t working so I apolojize in advantz for any speling erroars.

(disclaimers)

(Adorby Meercat photo via Flickr: olivecolours)

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ITS TIME FOR A LIST OF 5 WAYS TO GET FLIRTY!!

[ 0 ] January 27, 2012 |

Hello my friend!  I figured that since last week I totally killed the mood by posting about cats, this week I’d make up for it by talking about knockin’ the boots.  You’re welcome hot stuff.

Candy is sexy, sweet and gives you a sugar high AKA the perfect energy needed for doin’ the deed. Crave Candy Company sells scrumptious looking heaps of sticky candy goodness – The “You Know You Want It Cranberry” clusters look pretty darn perfect for gettin’ ya in the mood, if you get my drift.  I mean, the description alone is like foreplay: “contains dried cranberries, pretzel sticks and spanish peanuts surrounded by creamy, premium white chocolate with the tangy bite of cranberry.”  I think my bra just fell off.

Speaking of foreplay…how about, um….Fourplay in the form of intoxicating alcohol. You know what says “I wanna lose my virginity”? LIQUID COURAGE.  Thanks to Dievole, you can prep for sexy time in style, with “a unique blend of 4 typical grape varieties of Sicily, Nero d’Avola, Nerello mascalese, Nerello cappuccio and Frappato nero in equal parts”.  The translation of that of course, is “if you want to do the horizontal boogy, just drink this”.  In all seriousness,  this is actually one of my very favoritest wines and you can pick it up at most wine-stores.  Now go get yourself drunk and knocked-up!

Nothing says “rip my cloths off” like a hot, steamy bath and a whole lotta debauchery (don’t forget to bring your Fourplay wine to make it “drunkin debauchery”).  Ha-ha-haa, I crack myself up. Anyway,  Debaucherous Bath helps you become excessively indulgent in sensual pleasures (“get your groove on” in laymans terms) by hooking you up with some really unique bath products, that are all paraben, cruelty, sls and phthalate free and vegan (you don’t have to be mean to fluffy creatures and the environment to be a raging sex animal).  You can find out all about these original scents and pick up some of your own here.  This Turkish Mocha Handmade Soap looks edible and if you keep reading, you’ll see what food leads to.

Food is the way to a man’s heart (and man parts), and I can attest that if it comes in cupcake format, its also a direct highway to a woman’s heart (and lady bits).  I’m pretty sure if you first buy, then wear a Flirty Apron…naked, obviously, you will have days and days of unadulterated coitus. If you really wanna spice it up drape some deli meat over your shoulders.  It will be so sexy that your stove, will be like…”excuse me sexy bitch in a slutty apron and precarious meat slices? If you sit on my range, I’ll make you reeeeeeealll hot”.  Annnnnnnd, now I’m both trampy and telling dumb jokes.  Noice.

Start by finding out where to buy this nailpolish by NaughtyNailz, then tell me, since I can’t seem to figure it out and I desperately want to buy it. Then, buy each of their naughty named colors, paint your nails  and tell your man he should ask you what you’re wearing (on your nails, duh).  When he says “what are you wearing?”, you reply with the nail polish color:  “Spank Me, I’m Naughty”.  Your man taps his finger against his brow and ponders before shrugging his shoulders and saying, “ok”. You + sex = havin’ it.  And, all it took was a little passive agressive dirty talk. What are you waiting for?

Hope you have a wonderfully naked weekend!

(disclaimers)

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I’M FEELIN’ FAB (DOT COM) YEAH BABY!

[ 2 ] January 25, 2012 |

Today we narrowly missed a repeat of this on our way to the gym this morning.  I felt like the Tasmanian devil dude from that cartoon, with all my mumblings… “i hate mornings”…”the gym is stupid”….”my thighs are rubbing together”…”this is so dumb”.  Thankfully hubby of the year made me laugh by calling me “lady grumbalina” after smoochin’ my cheek.  An additional  shout out to the elliptical for the endorphin boost and also to that dude in the spam t-shirt for just smiling away while he sweated all over stuff.   oh yeah, I think I almost made a new friend today at the gym too.  She smiled at me while I was killin’ it on the hip abduction thingy and I tried to smile back, but I’m pretty sure it just looked like I had to poop.  ha ha.  that word always makes me crack up.

Either way, I’m pretty sure best friend necklaces are gonna be a no-go, and despite having to go to the gym this am, I’m feelin’ pretty “fab” today.  I had a “fab” workout.  I’m listening to some “fab” rap music while crankin’ away at my J-O-B and I  just bought some “fab” lip balm from this flash sale site that I plan on stalk-alating for years to come.  Stand up and cheer a whole bunch for (wait for it):

(www.fab.com)

Boom!  Alright, stop.  Collaborate and listen.  Sorry…too much rap for me today, I guess.  Seriously though, I am so amped up by this site, I pretty much want to do cartwheels all over Boston.  Fab.com features daily design inspirations and sales at up to 70% off retail.”  I’m sure you’ve been to at least 1 sample sale in your life, right?  Well, Fab.com should be at the top of that list, in my big fat opinion.

Here’s the thing about Fab.com – Everything on their site is friggin’ awesome.  And when, I say “awesome”, I mean “totally hip, trendy in style, wanna redecorate your house, AND your neighbor’s house, in a brand new wardrobe” awesome.  If you check out their “about” section, you’ll read that they are “on a mission to be the world’s most valuable design resource”.  A) I love this confidence; and 2) I’m pretty sure it won’t be too hard for them to reach this goal.

Use of the site is “Members Only” and lucky me, I’m totally a member.  The great thing about their sales (that start at 11 am ET each day) is that the products are hand-chosen by design experts under one lil’ old rule:  GOOD DESIGN.  Someone like me truly appreciates this because I get 100% bored with other member only sites whose sales encompass the same designers all the time.  I also really love that they feature the designers/artists of the stuff their sellin’ so that I can get the fool scoop before I add it to my shoppin’ cart.

Really, you should just go check out the site.   Be sure to use my invite (remember, its members only?): http://fab.com/5wcngy. Once you’re in, you can browse by sale, by shop, by price, telepathically…ok, fine that’s a lie. The point is that the options and fun features, and credit earning opportunities are just innumerable.  Below are some of today’s faves to get ya’ all revved up – Happy shoppin’!

Budda Earrings Bright for $25 bucks on Fab.com

by Amira Mednick

Find it: here

 

 

 

 

 

Lip Balm Wicked Set for $22 bucks on Fab.com

 

by Debaucherous Bath

 

I bought this!!!

 

Find it:  here

 

 

 

 

Paris Screen Print Brick Red for $20 bucks on Fab.com

 

by Mass Transit Made Art

 

Find it:  here

 

 

 

(disclaimers)

 

Oh, hey…before ya go – don’t forget to enter the “fab” giveaway goin’ on this week for your chance to win a 6-pack of yummy and sarcastic cookies for yourself and one  6-pack to send to your friend courtesy of Bitter Baking Co (and, me!)  Enter here, and if your totally bored and have nothing better to do with your time, feel free to read the required legal junk below.  Good luck (and happy shopping!)

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Starts at 12:01 a.m. ET on 1/24/12 and ends at 12:01 a.m. ET on 1/31/12. Open to legal residents of the 50 US and DC, 18 years or older at time of entry. Subject to official rules available here. Void where prohibited or restricted by law. This sweepstakes is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by Facebook® or Twitter®. You understand that you are providing your information to the blog five-style-high and not to Facebook® or Twitter®. The information you provide will be used SOLELY for the purposes of selecting and notifying a prize winner, after which the information will be permanently deleted.

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FRICKIN’ AWESOME {BITTER BAKING CO} COOKIE GIVEAWAY!

[ 67 ] January 23, 2012 |

Lucky you!  Lucky you!  We’ve got another sweet (no, this one really is sweet) giveaway!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about my new friends over at Bitter Baking Co (did you see the awesome discount they are giving 5-style-high readers through February?) Go buy some frickin’ cookies already!.  Just kiddin.  Or, am I? Hee hee ;)

Well, they thought the post I wrote was pretty shnazzy and as a “Thanks for being so awesome” they sent me and my husby (and my parents!) each a sweet, sugar cookie smelling box of sarcastic goodness.

Let me explain to you, how excited I was to find out that the hilarious cookies that I had grown to love in theory, were as gloriously delicious as I had dreamed in my mind – Perfect cookie crunch on the outside and super chewy, melt in your mouth, make you wanna gain 300 pounds, on the inside.

No, I’m serious. These cookies were so good that I almost brought them to bed with me.  Not to eat or anything (apparently crumbs in the sheets are frowned upon), just to snuggle with a little bit before the slaughtering.

They were so fantastic, I taunted my brand new 300,000 dolla Mercedes with them…

 …and also drove them around in my brand new “USA” branded convertible mini-coop.  Yeah, I won it when I placed first in the “I’m a big fat liar” games during the 1982 Olympics.  No biggy.

 In all honesty though, I’m so thankful for Erin Hall, the most awesome cookie baker chick I’ve had the pleasure of stalking.

Without the coupling of her stellar baking skills and off-beat wit, I would not have had the great opportunity of gaining 4 pounds last weekend.

I would also not have had the chance to boast and brag about something I think is 150% awesome and abs-a-tootly delish.

Don’t be jealous.  I mean, like the cookie says, “I’m sorry for being so awesome”.

But, guess what I’m not sorry for? I’m not sorry for the opportunity you have to be just as cool, thanks to the Bitter Baking Co!  Hold on to your butts people, it’s time for a:

Enter now for your chance to win a 6-pack of mind-blowing cookies courtesy of the Bitter Baking Co!  As a bonus, I’m throwing in a second 6-pack of cookies so that you can have one all to your own belly and one to send off to someone you’d love to make fat too.  Once selected, the winner can pick whatever two 6-packs desired and Bitter Baking Co will ship em’ off to you and your “loved” one.  The prize winner will be selected on or about  January 31st.  You can earn up to 5 chances to win it by Facebookin’, Twitterin’ and makin’ comments as noted below. Do it!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Starts at 12:01 a.m. ET on 1/24/12 and ends at 12:01 a.m. ET on 1/31/12. Open to legal residents of the 50 US and DC, 18 years or older at time of entry. Subject to official rules available here. Void where prohibited or restricted by law. This sweepstakes is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by Facebook® or Twitter®. You understand that you are providing your information to the blog five-style-high and not to Facebook® or Twitter®. The information you provide will be used SOLELY for the purposes of selecting and notifying a prize winner, after which the information will be permanently deleted.

P.S. I wasn’t slipped any cash, influenced or brainwashed to write this post.  I was just lucky enough to be given a fantastic product by a great brand to review and giveaway to my friends.  I promise to always “tell it like it is” no matter what! (read more about that here).

 

 

 

 

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